Fisherman’s Friends are drivers’ enemy

It seems there is no end to the subject matter deemed worthy of surveying in the quest for publicity.

Take the Post Office – erstwhile vendor of stamps, Biros and padded envelopes – which has now turned barometer of the nation’s motoring and digestive health.

 Now that diversity is the watchword of the service the service industry, the Post Office has branched out into car insurance. Just in case we hadn’t noticed, it has uncovered a few salient facts about the Great British driver. In a press release, it reveals that men like to eat Extra Strong Mints when driving, women prefer Polos and very few drivers eat Fisherman’s Friends. The top ten of motoring sweets also features Wine Gums, Fruit Pastilles, and Werther’s Originals.

Phil Ashkuri, head of Post Office Car Insurance, has seized upon the findings – like a cheetah seizes a gazelle – and twisted them to his own ends. “Munching on sweets in the car is a national pastime,” he announces, before flourishing his trump card. “Make sure you’ve got the right car cover, too”, he adds, in an astonishing feat of non-liner thinking.

“We’re giving £50 cash-back to anyone who makes Post Office Car Insurance their top choice. That’s enough to buy everyone in the family their favourite sweets this half term.”

Sometimes the Diary can only marvel at the skills of the creative industry.  

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