Jesus wants me for a Pokémon

Realising that this is what Christmas is all about – ie nothing to do with religion – I was most upset to read on page 8 of Marketing Week (October 26) that the toy industry has failed to unearth a knock-out Christmas product.

This is, of course, something the church has been trying to do (unearth a knock-out Christmas product, that is) for years, since the invention of television, marketing and toys.

Picture the scene, some two thousand years ago, as two weary travellers, one heavy with child, one heavy with gear from “Ye Olde Toyes Are Usse”, arrive at Ye Olde Hollidaye Inne, Bethlehem.

Father to be: “I say, young man. My wife is nearly due. Perchance a room?”

Receptionist: “Sorry. mate, we’re full. And you’re not bringing that bl**dy donkey in here either.”

Father to be: “But surely you can see my wife is heavily expectant! Have you not even the smallest of rooms?”

Receptionist: “No. Sorry, mate. As I said, we’re full. After all, it is Christmas! It’ll be miraculous if you can find anywhere to have your child delivered this time of year, mate. Mind you, we have got an empty barn outside back

“And get that bl**dy donkey out of here And what the hell do those three geezers with their gold, frankincense and myrrh think they’re up to over there? Oy! You three! OUT!”

Although I’m not a religious person myself (religion having been invented to keep the rich rich and the poor poor – I am well able to keep myself poor without the aid of a cleric), I often wonder why anyone bothers with the religious aspect at all, especially as the supermarkets, DIY stores et al have been peddling their overpriced, plastic, festive rubbish for weeks now.

Yours in ye olde despair.

Edward Moss

Edward Moss Communications

Leeds

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