Pets win prizes (well, Air Miles)

The Diary loves animals. They cost money, they mess up your floor, not to mention pavements and parks, and they sniff your crotch at inconvenient moments. Who wouldn’t love them?

But now there is a good excuse to get yourself a furry friend. Petplan, the animal health insurance company, is now offering 120 Air Miles to anyone who takes out a new cat, dog or rabbit policy.

By our reckoning that’s not a bad deal. According to the Air Miles website, two rabbits plus £73 would get you a flight from Bristol to Paris, while three dogs and a cat plus £74 would get you from Birmingham to Lyon, with half a dog to spare.

Dr Dolittle may have been able to talk to the animals, but not even he could get free flights out of them.

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