There’s only one middle finger, one middle finger

Things are really starting to look up for England. Beckham’s foot is on the mend, Sven has managed to ditch the hanger-on (Gary Neville) and the team is primed and ready. But all these things are completely overshadowed by the Subbuteo World Cup.

Up and down the country, people are going over their tactics. Short or long nails? Glasses or baseball cap to protect from ceiling light glare? Fingers are being developed – left hand for skill, right for strength.

At least eight agency teams are already entered, so it’s an event not to be missed. And it’s even sponsored by Marketing Week. If you want to enter a team of two in the World Cup, which takes place on May 23 at Chelsea Football Club, contact zbanfield@leafletcompany.co.uk.