Whisky to massage sales figures

Campbell’s Distillers is going into the massage business in a bid to shift more cases of Jameson’s Irish Whisky.

The distillery’s intrepid PR team is to spend St Patrick’s Day in a “massage booth” at Waterloo Station, soothing commuters’ fevered brows. Weary travellers will be offered a tot of Jameson’s and a shoulder massage. Then – at risk of total sensory overload – they will be encouraged to indulge in a spot of aromatherapy.

A Jameson’s source told the Diary: “There are a lot of similarities between the making of essential oils and Jameson’s, so we are making the link with aromatherapy. We will be encouraging people to have a good sniff while they are having their tot.”

Punters will then be offered a lift to work on a bicycle taxi.

It all sounds marvellous, but the Diary worries that all this good work could be undone when commuters wander into work half an hour late smelling faintly of Irish Whisky.

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