There are 17 comments at the moment, we would love to hear your opinion too.

  1. Babar Khan Javed 29 May 2018

    You forgot “Hustle” and “growth hacker”.

  2. Finn McConway 30 May 2018

    Can I also add in Richard Branson’s? Just for the awful, toe curling, sycophantic fawning over his every word in all the comments? People seem to lose every shred of dignity and reason in a quest to literally polish his behind with glee. Bizarre. On a separate note think I need to update my picture reading “Forever Young”…

  3. andy brander 30 May 2018

    Happy work anniversary

  4. John Bell 30 May 2018

    I don’t trust the Derritson Impostor profile personally, some sort of creepy RitsonSorrell hybrid wannabe world domination character apparently…

  5. Kirsty Callaghan 30 May 2018

    Anyone who describes themselves as “viral” or an influencer also get my vote!
    @CrapOnLinkedIn on twitter is gold for things like this!

    • Dom Graham 4 Jun 2018

      Dare people go on to the @CrapOnLinkedIn Twitter, lest they discover they’re “featured”? 😉

  6. Nihat Baydar 30 May 2018

    Awesome! This is very funny, I laughed so much. Thanks 🙂

  7. Christine Neal 30 May 2018

    Does the reverse work for adjective Addict? I might change mine to inexperienced, rudderless, don’t give a toss, lock your daughters and sons up and hide the silver marketeer

  8. Pradip Unni 31 May 2018

    Very correct. Shouldn’t we also add individuals who’s profiles are in the name of their companies?

  9. Felicity Coghlan 31 May 2018

    ‘Here’s how I quit my 9 to 5 and work whenever I want, wherever I want. You must do the same as it’s literally the only way to find meaning and happiness’

  10. tom fletcher-jones 31 May 2018

    What about Mr Third Person?

  11. Al King 1 Jun 2018

    Hah! Yes. I reject any contact request with a twatty job title. “Digital Ninja” has a particularly high twat factor (you do cover this later in the piece). Qualifying adjectives also get the boot. They’re trying too hard which means they’re hiding something; a lack of talent. Facebook Transplants are exceedingly annoying. And lazy. Mark, I hope you know that you never underwhelm in person.
    P.S. You’re my guru and I can’t help being hot.

  12. Marcelo Salup 2 Jun 2018

    1. I find the self-appointed ninja/guru to be the worst offender, especially because I actually did that!!! On the advice of a few friends I actually put “Media Guru” in mine because all my friends told me I was. Big mistake. Will never do that again.

    2. About 3 months ago I started doing a collection of screen shots of the worst offenders and weirdest descriptions… you just inspired me to continue that collection

  13. Ashley Friedlein 3 Jun 2018

    Can’t believe you missed out Mr Emoji

  14. Dom Graham 4 Jun 2018

    Then you have the “consultant” who continually posts things they feel are ‘business inspirational’ – posts about”the wisdom of Steve Jobs”, quotes by Richard Branson that have been amateurishly cobbled together in a 1999 version of Photoshop that they only half know how to use, and make crap analogies about “business leadership” using equivalencies to the animal kingdom that are ill researched and/or demonstrably false. He has probably also posted *that* meme about how Jeff Bezos started with “just a $300k loan from his parents”.

  15. Lindsay Smith 4 Jun 2018

    You missed sunglasses, sunglasses+sports car, ski goggles & bobble-hat (basically a picture of a nose).

  16. ayesha yon 3 Jul 2018

    “Unfortunately, all Mr Marriage communicates with his family photo is a relatively low EQ and the strong possibility that he is unlikely to work overtime or go on the road when the job requires it.”

    i find nothing offensive about Harvey Poon, Mr Marriage. A picture with a loved one is a sign of low EQ? And yes, maybe he is trying to communicate that he is unlikely to travel or work overtime. What is wrong with that?

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